baby-food
Baby’s First Food: Breast Milk (Part 1)
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tricia on
12.27.09 |
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Short Link: http://onceamonthmom.com/?p=5144
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You hear a lot (or at least I do) that “breastfeeding is natural” and “any woman can do it”. And when I had my first child that is what I expected too. I read the books, went to the classes and prepared as much as a new mother could. And after about 6 weeks those two phrases just about did me in because breastfeeding was anything but that for me!
Not Me! Photo used with permission Flickr Creative Commons by Raphael Goetter
Breastfeeding was a challenge! At first I didn’t know it was a challenge. By all appearances everything seemed to be going well. Isaac was having wets and dirties on schedule. He was latching on and eating for great lengths of time. He wasn’t crying all that much either. However, he was jaundiced (really jaundiced as I look back at pictures) and he wasn’t gaining weight. At his two week appointment he was barely over what he had been when he left the hospital the 10 days prior. Not a good sign.
So we were given the orders to start the 2.5 hour feeding routine for several days and return. This meant that I would breastfeed Isaac for as long as he would feed, usually an hour or more. Then, I would hand him off to hubby for a diaper change and formula supplement. While hubby was feeding him I would pump. This entire process took at least 1.5 hours each time. And I was to do this all through the night as well! It doesn’t take a mathematician to realize that only left 1 hour to do everything else, including sleep. It was a grueling several days.
So you can imagine my disappointment and heartache when we went back after this regimen and he still wasn’t gaining adequate weight. I was naturally in tears.
The doctor then requested we start supplementing with formula which made complete sense. I even remember her asking us if he was a fussy baby or was upset a lot, you know, like he was hungry. We replied “no” and he really hadn’t been. But then we started giving him formula and realized that he was much happier and content than he ever had been without it. He was just that good when he was young too.
In the meantime I tried everything. Fenugreek until I realized I wasn’t allowed to take that because of my high blood pressure. Drinking more. The supplemental necklace you can get to wear and attach to your breasts to stimulate while feeding formula. Breast shields. Consultations with lactation consultants. And I pumpled. And I pumped. And I pumped.
At about 6 weeks I began to unravel. We weren’t doing the 3 hour routine anymore but I was exhausted! Breatfeeding was not enjoyable at all to me! In fact, I loathed having to do it. I would get mad at Isaac for not latching properly or taking so long to eat. And then I was cracked and sore. If it hadn’t been for some great counsel from a few friends I’m not sure what I would have done.
At this point, I decided to just pump at every feeding and give him the expressed breast milk or formula accordingly. I took it one day at a time figuring I would put him back on when I felt more ready. I eventually tried a few times but never with much success. I also wasn’t having much success pumping much quantity so I was pretty sure my efforts would be fruitless.
At 3 months old, I had a friend that had just had a baby and I decided to try one last time. I remember very clearly Isaac looking up at me and laughing as I tried to put him to my breast. And then he gagged and choked. He wasn’t interested. And I realized I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I did. I felt like we bonded over a bottle more than we bonded over breastfeeding (maybe because of the stress). I realized I was much happier and that he was healthy. So I stopped pumping all together.
As we have approached baby #2 I had no doubts that I wanted to try breastfeeding again. I also made notes of things that I wish I would have known when I had Isaac and things I would try differently this time. It isn’t that I am opposed to formula feeding, we will do it again if we need to, but I would like to try my hand (or breasts) again.
If you are just about to have your first baby, don’t panic, that is the worst thing for breast milk production. But seek out the information, be your own breast feeding advocate and identify some great friends around you that have both had positive and negative breastfeeding experiences. The people in your life are by far your greatest asset in this journey. And remember, for some it does come natural, but if it doesn’t for you, you are not alone.
In a follow-up post I will tell you what I decided to do differently this time and how it is working out. Stay tuned.
21 Responses to “Baby’s First Food: Breast Milk (Part 1)”
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great post! with my daughter (10 years old now) i really wanted to breastfeed and we did try to. it was hard work since she was 10 weeks early and was not able to latch for quite some time. but i diligently pumped and did everything i “supposed” to. but there came a point were we realized that she wasn’t gaining weight and the nurses were saying that she was taking another 2-4 ounces after we would leave the NICU having just fed here. my milk stopped producing totally. it was a frustrating time for her and me. finally it came down to doing what was best for her and me and that was going with formula. within a couple weeks she was gaining weight was scheduled to come home! and we were both happier!
i think it is important for new moms to realize that breast is best but it might now work for them. as long as they feel they are doing the best for their baby and for them, then that is all that matters. not any flack they get from others.
as a side note my son is now 18 months and he was breastfeed almost exclusively (except for the days in the NICU, he was 7 weeks early) for the first 10 months of his life. and the only reason we stopped then is because i was put on a med that made me have to stop.
I ended up not breastfeeding either baby for more than a few weeks. I could not get up my supply and both babies were dehydrating. It was not a fun time. But once I came to peace with using formula, we were just fine. It was a tough time for us, but finally realized that for us the most important thing was keeping baby fed and healthy as possible eve if that meant formula! I hope it works out better this time for you!
Breastfeeding may be a natural food but it is not a natural ability. It is very hard. I struggled so much with my first child. It sounds like you did everything you could last time. But, I do want to encourage you again with your newest one. Each baby is different. You’ve been such a wonderful mom to go this far and try again. She’ll never know or understand how much you’re doing for her right now.
Hang in there,
Jennifer
It is so true that breastfeeding can be a lot more difficult than a first time parent can realize. I had a tough time breastfeeding my son, and we supplemented with formula pretty much throughout the ten months that he breastfed. I also had to use nipple shields for most of that time. The hours, too, and the worry can be grueling.
In the end, parenting definitely makes you realize that setting hard and fast rules about how, what and when you are going to do things is setting yourself up for frustration at best, failure at worst. BE FLEXIBLE, always, and as you point out, at the end of the day, it is really about how happy and healthy the family is, not what you are or are not doing.
It’s always interesting to hear how breast feeding goes for different mommies. Our first was in the NICU for a week and I was only allowed to pump and give her bottles until the day she was ready to discharge and then they let me try breast feeding. We did okay but I always pumped and it never dawned on me that I should let her set her own feeding schedule instead of waking her every 3 hours. Live and learn.
With our second, I let her decide when she wanted to eat and how much and it was an enirely different experience. In fact, she never took a bottle of anything. She exclusively breastfed and – unlike her older sister who stopped breastfeeding at 6 months – she and I kept going until a little over a year.
It really is different for each mommy and each child. I look forward to hearing how it’s going for y’all this time.
Oh man, I totally feel ya. I had a similar experience trying to breastfeed my premature twins. I probably produced enough milk for 1.5 babies, but I felt like a failure every time I didn’t get enough for 2. I was pumping, supplementing, nursing, the whole 9 yards. Thankfully I had a wonderful lactation nurse who was VERY encouraging and positive. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have made it, and thank goodness I had her on speed dial. In the end I was able to nurse one of my babies for 6 months (at that point she switched to the bottle w/ formula & pumped milk), at 8 months I stopped pumping, and at 10 months the other baby switched to the bottle. It was a wild ride, but I live to tell the tale!!!
PS: For any of you other readers out there, I did take some prescription drugs to increase milk supply and they made me CRAZY!!! I could barely formulate sentences and was really in a bad depression that I wasn’t fully aware of. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I stopped taking them. So be careful what you try ladies! And if you do decide to try them make sure those around you watch out for signs of depression in you.
My sister in law just had a baby, and I was very dissapointed in the lack of support from the hospital. i went in on the second day at 8 o’clock and she was totally okay with me manually trying to help her son latch on properly, all the things the lactation nurse had done for me to give me a strong start. When her nurse came in she was like ‘Breastfeeding going good? No? Oh well, we can give him a bottle.’ How in the world is anyone supposed to do it if no one helps? Not suprisingly she’s given up after two days.
Sorry to hear that. My hospital was much more supportive they just didn’t prompt me as much as I was thinking they would. Sad that she is given up so early, but I can’t say I blame her, it is a tough gig for some.
My daughter breastfed until she weaned at 15 months. I’d like to say that I enjoyed every moment of it, but that would be a lie. She did not latch on well. I remember having shooting pains from my nipples that went all the way around to my back when she would start nursing. My nipples are scarred from where the skin was raw for the first two months of her life. Until she was four months old, she would nurse for one hour and then be hungry again in another hour. I barely had time to shower. I was too stubborn to give her formula or ask for outside help. At four months as if a switch was flipped, she started nursing for 15-30 minutes every couple hours, so I suddenly had more time between feedings where I could do other things. Then there was the pumping while I was at work. I hated pumping and was so happy when she was old enough for cow’s milk at 12 months that I put away the pump for good. \n\nI’m happy to hear that you’re trying breastfeeding again. After my daughter and I got the kinks worked out, breastfeeding really was an enjoyable experience. I hope it’s going well for the two of you. Please ask for help if things aren’t going as smoothly as you think they could. I really liked going to La Leche League meetings although you have to prepare yourself to see some boobage when you go. LLL meetings helped me be more confident with nursing in front of other people.
I am pregnant with baby #3. Baby #1 didn’t even attempt Breastfeeding. Baby #2 I started in the hospital with formula then decided when my milk came in that I wanted to breast feed… didn’t go well since she knew what she was missing out on.\n\nWith baby #3 I’d love to start out with immediately breast feeding but then a part of me gets so scared. I’ve had extreme success with 2 kids being on formula. I had happy, healthy babies.
Been there, done that! Twice. All of it: the round the clock feedings, the pumping, the supplements, etc. Baby #3 is due in Feb. I’m still not quite sure how I want to address this one but I know that I will try breastfeeding again – at least in the beginning. If it seems to not be working out (again) then I hope I can be more laid back & realize that my first two are perfectly healthy so #3 should be as well. Here’s something to think about – donated breastmilk. With baby #2 we were very blessed to find a donor who was willing to give us some of her unused breastmilk for free. At first it seemed weird, but we quickly got over that. By using donated milk baby #2 had mostly breastmilk until she was about 6mo. I’m hoping, if need be, that we can find another suitable donor for baby #3. I can’t wait to hear what your strategy has been for #2. Maybe I’ll glean more info. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing. I never had any “mechanical” difficulty w/ breastfeeding. My 1st refused to ever take a bottle and was breastfed for 11 months. My 2nd was completely different. ALthough latch and production were not issues, she had a myriad of food intolerances. She would scream w/ pain if I ate any dairy, gassy veggies, or chocolate. I would just want to cry w/ her. Finally just before 4 months I gave up and switch her to soy formula entirely. It was so much better to have a baby not in pain. Breast milk may be the most nutritionally complete, but breastfeeding is not always best. Also I really disagree w/ the breastfeeding equals bonding thing. It is so much fun to give my 2nd one a bottle, to look in her eyes and watch her enjoy eating. My first the breastfeeder was staring at my armpit the whole time. With the exception of when she was hungry my breastfeeder was never particularly more attached to me than her daddy or other close relatives. My little bottle baby is very much a momma’s girl. Which though not always convenient is kind of fun. While I certainly will try breastfeeding first if I have another one. I am now assured that bottle feeding can be just as good.
My first experience was exactly like yours! I felt like I was reading my story. We even took my son to a speech therapist, who gave us mouth exercises to do with my son to help strengthen his mouth. The second time around still was hard. Better, but hard. I was always so afraid that I wasn’t producing enough and had decided I just couldn’t pump near as much that time around, because my older son was only 16 months old. So I probably supplemented more than I needed to. We also decided we would always give him a formula bottle in the middle of the night. That helped me so much. You just have to make the decision that is the best for you….and have no guilt.
Thanks for sharing that you have a 16 month old. I do to and am wondering how I will ever keep up this regimen when hubby goes back to work!
Breastfeeding is a great thing. But it can be really hard and it is never the same twice. My first nursed wonderfully (all the time) I think I feed that kid every 45 min. Then he wouldn’t eat “real” food. In fact he didn’t eat “food” until about 8 months and then could take it or leave it until a year. (Best weight loss program I’ve ever been on) I finally weaned him at 2 years 2 months. I was 5 months along with #2. When #2 came along she nursed well too, but this time a more managable schedule, every 2-2.5 hours, she started eating solid food at 6 months and weaned herself at a year. #3 nursed well but had such horrible reflux we had to start him on rice cereal at 4 months, weaned himself at 11 months. Then came #4, my parents were foster parents of newborn twins when he was 4 and a half months. They gave him a formula bottle one evening when they ran out of pumped breastmilk and he never looked back. He decided he prefered formula to breastmilk. I tried breastfeeding for another month and then gave up. Talk about wild swings, 2 years to 5 months.
Breastfeeding may be natural but what a trip!:)
My son was a nightmare. I didn’t have the support I needed. LLL lady came out, she didn’t help. My husband didn’t know what to do. I then sank into depression. Finally for my sanity I had to give up. Instead I pumped breastmilk for a year.
With DD1 she latched 55 minutes after I had her (via C-Section) and nursed till she was 21 months old. I only think she weaned because I was pregnant with DD2 and my Dad had died. In fact the day of his funeral was the last day she nursed.
With DD2 she latched 45 minutes after I had her (via C-Section) and is still nursing at 19 months.
With my son I cried, I was scared and confused. I wish I had the support in place prior to having him. But my depression took over and cloudied my judgement to fight on.
Very well said! When I had my first child (almost 13 years ago), I tried breastfeeding and my story was almost exactly like yours. I was exhausted and in tears much of the first 6 weeks. It turned out that he was just that hungry and I was not a milk machine. He was my biggest baby and biggest eater. I have since had 2 more children and was able nurse them exclusively. Every pregnancy, baby and nursing experience is different. Try again, you never know, it may work out.
Thanks for sharing. I stopped breast feeding with my first when she was 3 weeks -I was so depressed by what I perceived as a failure on my part. It was a horrible experience and I ended up with PPD. My 2nd breastfed for 10 weeks, there were some challenges here and there, but I went into it saying I would give it a try and it wasn’t the end of the world if it didn’t work out. As it was, he ended up developing a milk and soy allergy, so I stopped a few weeks before I was planning to (I teach h.s. and it is nearly impossible to pump at work).
I will have to say that with every regnancy being different so is the care for each individual child. I have 3 children and with each breastfeeding was completely different with each one. Luckily my first was the best therefore it did not leave me questioning the other 2. Goog Luck!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You just described exactly what I’ve been going through the last few weeks. My little one is 4 1/2 weeks old, and breastfeeding was in no way what I imagined. There have been many tears from both of us. Mainly from me feeling like I missed out on something “wonderful” as so many have described it to me. Really makes you feel like a failure especially being a first time mom.
I’m now just pumping and supplementing with formula at night. I’ve come to realize that this is how we are both happy. Thank you for sharing your experience with everyone. It really helps me to know I’m not alone in this.
Oh I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this! It is so HARD with the first one especially. Definitely don’t feel guilty about it (easier said than done). Do what you can and go from there. One day you will look back and wonder why you fretted so much. It is definitely a tough journey. I am glad that you benefited from this post. Best of luck to you as you continue. (Our little ones must have been born about the same time as mine is also 4.5 weeks old)!