baby-food
Baby’s First Food: Breast Milk (Part 3)
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tricia on
01.04.10 |
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Short Link: http://onceamonthmom.com/?p=5232
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Sorry to leave you hanging after I wrote part 1 and part 2. Life has been a little busy. I’m not exactly sure how I am going to balance everything when my husband returns to work this week but we’ll see.
My beautiful Tessa (and her paci)
So let me start off with what I felt was going well as we headed to the doctor last week with Tessa.
- Wake the Baby – We did this the first two weeks to make sure that my supply was established and that she was eating often enough. Really, we only had to do it once or twice during the day. At night she would wake every 2-2.5 hours to eat so this was never a problem.
- Watch the Latch & Concentrate – This was definitely going better. I was not nearly as sore or in pain as I was with my first. I also committed to not playing on the computer during this time (which *might* have contributed to some stuff not getting done on the blog).
- Be willing to pump – I definitely saw an immediate increase in my supply when I started pumping after each feeding. I would use the excess breast milk to supplement in the evening when she seemed to want to eat all of the time. I was a bit frustrated because when she did seem hungry after breast feeding and we would give her expressed breast milk she would eat no more than what I was able to pump. This is a main reason we gave her a pacifier (see below). In my mind, she must be able to get enough since I was able to pump the equivalent of what she needed after she had breastfed.
- Pacifier – I got several comments recommending I not do this. I want to assure everyone that I didn’t succumb to it until a day or two before we went to the doctor. I do know the pros and cons of using a pacifier when breastfeeding. However, I also know the pros and cons of sleeping and folks, at some point I hit a breaking point. And when I am spending a majority of time feeding and not sleeping, I break. That and I KNOW that she likes to have something in her mouth a majority of the time, hungry or not.
Last Tuesday we had the two week doctor appointment. I would love to report to you that everything went fabulously and that she was way over birth weight making my extra effort towards breastfeeding worth it. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
Tessa was perfectly healthy in every way except that she had not gained enough at this appointment. She was born at 7 lbs 12 oz and was only at 7 lbs 6 oz. I was a bit disappointed but not too terribly surprised. The doctor, of course, suggested supplementing more formula to make up for the difference. Having given the first two weeks the best shot, I agreed with her assessment. After all, I remember the change in my first after we started supplementing and I was more than ready to have a content infant.
So, we started supplementing formula right away after feeding. It has made a HUGE difference. It seems that perhaps her demand exceeds my output most significantly in the evening hours. This is when we supplement the most. Adding the supplement has also made me a much more agreeable person. I am able to sleep more at night (because she is satisfied and sleeping). I am also able to get more done during the day because I am not sitting around breastfeeding all day.
I have to be honest with all of you that this formula addition has been a relief for me. I had more time with my first to sit around and work on breastfeeding. However, my husband returns to work this week which means that I will have to work feedings into chasing around my 16 month old. I just don’t have the time and energy to devote wholeheartedly to breastfeeding issues. I wish I did.
My new strategy is to breastfeed or pump every 3 hours. If my husband is around I do both. We then give her formula or expressed breast milk after she has fed as well. Some feedings I simply give her the formula or breast milk and pump instead. I am getting more milk these days and likely have enough to feed her completely just by breastfeeding, at least during the day.
I still wake her every three hours throughout the day but let her go until she wakes on her own at night. She still wakes every 3 hours during that time as well. I can live with that. When I do breast feed her I watch her latch and make sure that she isn’t getting lazy. She does well. She definitely prefers the quickness of the bottle but still accepts the breast.
We are having a lot of reflux issues at this point with breast milk especially, so we will continue to work on those. We also have another appointment with the doctor this week to make sure that she is gaining weight. I will give you a brief report after that appointment as well as an update about how I am surviving during the day on my own.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated. Please continue to pray for us if you think of it. And you moms out there with kids that are 16 months apart or less, any helpful hints for surviving this stage? I would LOVE to hear them.
Tags: breast milk
I just wanted to sympathize. This stuff can be so hard! What makes me most crazy about pumping early on (for any reason) is that it takes time away from your newborn (and they don’t stay long!) Give yourself permission to do what helps you enjoy this time the most!
Good luck and take care! I supplemented with formula with my first, for about the first two month or so, and formula remained a player in the “feeding palette” (as I called it) until solids came into play. Like the pacifier, we all just have to do what we have to do. I am due in two weeks, so will be in your shoes soon, with a newborn and a 2.5 year old!
Thank you for admitting that the formula gave you some relief! I STILL feel guilty about using it when my supply was low and I wasn’t getting sleep. It was such a relief to get more than an hour of sleep at a time!
My pleasure. I know this subject can be so controversial at times and I remember the immense guilt I felt last time. I figured there were a lot of readers out there that needed to see the other side of formula use – the relief!
She’s beautiful Tricia!!! And I think it’s awesome that you’re working so hard … it’s obvious that whatever your final decision is, it will be best for you & your family!
Congrats on the baby! I have 3 darlings (the first two were 15 months apart and then 18 months between #2 and 3.)! One of the best pieces of advice I got was reading stories while breastfeeding. The older child then thinks that they are getting all the attention, but really you just have the child confined and know exactly what they are doing while you’re stuck on the couch feeding! Good luck! It gets easier!!!
This is fantastic advise! Thank you. My older son loves to read.
Hi, My daughter is 18 months old and my son is 2 months, and for me its a huge adjustment going from one to two. Just hang in there is all I can say at the moment, do what you can and if it all gets too much have a little cry
You get your good days and your bad but its lovely watching them grow. I look forward to reading your adventures and know I’m not the only one. Good Luck!
Out of seven children, 16 months is the closest span that I have, between numbers 4 and 5.
I have to say, it is really hard! Although it’s difficult in the beginning, it does get easier and now I am so glad that they are so close. They play together and are such good friends.
I was sure that I had them nap at the same time. It worked for me to have the baby down for the first nap at 9 and then both of them down for the afternoon nap at 1. Scheduling is a relief. It’s wonderful to know just when everything is happening every day. By the time the baby is about three months everything will even out.
Also, I quit doing a lot of extra things outside of the house because it was just too much. Give yourself permission to just do your number one job and nothing else without any guilt. After the first year things will change and you’ll have more time just to live life again.
Having two so close really is a wonderful thing.
Wonderful suggestions and encouragement. Thankfully I am more than happy to be a homebody so I am definitely taking your advice on cutting out the “extras”. The blog will likely not get as much attention as before but seeing as it is one of my few communications with the outside world you will likely not see much change. I love doing it for this interaction alone.
What a sweet baby girl!!!
I wanted to comment on the reflux issues. Both my boys had reflux. With our first, we kinda just let it be. But by the time #2 was in the picture, we had a chiropractor in our lives and she helped SO much – not only with the reflux, but nursing issues too – more than our LC did b/c she saw bone issues that were conflicting (where it wasn’t really a latch issue that an LC could fix/sitting and staring could fix/etc…)
My boys are 16 months apart and it’s the best thing ever. The beginning is tough, but, now that the youngest it 16 months, they’re really starting to PLAY (and scheme, lol) together! It is such a joy and blessing!
I don’t know if you have a set up like this, but I had a basket of special toys/books for my oldest JUST for when I was nursing (I found a TON of stuff at consignment shops and I’d rotate around the toys every couple of days) but he only got to play with the stuff in that basket when I was nursing the baby. It helped to keep him entertained for a bit
You are definitely in my prayers re: the transition as well as all the nursing issues. Here’s to some weight gain!
You’re doing great, mama!!!!
Another great suggestion for feeding time. I will work on getting a basket together today. This should be fun!
I can so feel your pain on all levels! With both Gibson and Maya I tried EVERYTHING for almost a month and they just weren’t gaining weight so we had to go to formula. I remember crying and being so sad, but also feeling so much relief to have contented babies for the first time!
They were also 16 months apart. It is tough at first, but you will get through it and just embrace it as your new normal before you know it. It really helps once Tessa will get into a routine in a few months, things are much easier to plan then! You can even coordinate their naps and get a break during the day! I coordinate all 3 rest times still so I can have a little time to get things done or just relax. I know right now is kind of just survival mode and figuring out how to manage them both, but like I said, you’ll be in a routine before you know it!
Thank you for the words of encouragement. And the reminder that this too shall pass. I will keep those words near my bedside table for remembering in the wee hours of the night.
I’m proud of you, Tricia! No matter the outcome of the formula/breastmilk stuff, you have really given it your best and are making choices that are good for Tessa (and good for your sanity). That’s a good mom.
Love you, friend! And I think we need another Steak-n-Shake run in the near future (well, at least when you feel up to it anyway)!
Bring on the Steak & the Shake! I’m golden anytime. You all just have to be rid of that crazy flu!
Bring on the Steak & the Shake! I’m golden anytime. You all just have to be rid of that crazy flu!
Too funny how our situation is so much a like I have a 17 month old and my newest addition will be 2 months on the 9th. I will say I don’t have mucha dvise as far as handling this stage because if it wasn’t cor my family (parents) I would have been loccked up in a nut house weeks ago (JK) Yet is does get easier and I will have to say that breastfeeding is now finally and enjoyment for us as week glad it is for you!
Pacifiers in my book are OK my second didn’t do to good on weening he was tongue tied as well as other issues on my end therefore I had to quit breastfeeding when he was 3 months old, the “foo foo” was a life saver just get rid of it before it becomes their security.
God Bless!
I’m anxious to read everyone’s suggestions & advice. My son was 3yo when my daughter was born. It was hard to keep him occupied during all the feeding times. We watched WAY too much tv. I don’t want to discourage you but I felt like my daughter was 6mo before we really got into a good groove again. It didn’t help that she was born in early November so we had the whole winter to get through. In Feb., when she was 3mo, my son started a Parents’ Day Out program two days a week. Even though I had to help carpool him there & home, it was a HUGE blessing. We also had feeding issues with both of our babies. With our daughter we ended up using some donated breastmilk from a wonderful donor (for free). With that she had breastmilk almost exclusively until she was about 6mo then we switched to full formula cause the donor was ready to cut back. What an unselfish gift. If you’re interested in trying this just talk to you pediatrician. They may be able to help you find a donor. Or you can do an online search.
The reason I’m anxious to hear what others have to say is that I’m due with #3 in 5 weeks. My son, who is now 4, can be reasoned with a little more & it’s easy to find stuff for him to do. But I’m not sure how my daughter is going to react. Thankfully, my son is still in that same Parents’ Day Out program (thanks to my mom) & we’re hoping my daughter will be able to get into the same program. But there will still be times when I will need her to be occupied. I’m going to give breastfeeding a try again but I hope I let go easier than the last two times if it doesn’t seem to be working out.
Sorry for the long post. I really appreciate your words & hope you will continue to update us on your progress. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing, and good luck with the coming transition. I look forward to hearing how it goes for you as well.
Wow! This was such an interesting post to read! I had the exact same issues with all three of my children not gaining weight when breastfeeding and having to supplement. Don’t worry…it’s ok…I felt so much guilt about not being able to have the “wonderful” breastfeeding experiences that everyone I knew seemed to be having…but some of us just need a little help! I hated the guilt I felt for it…but you know my kids are awesome and healthy now…and all three had both breastmilk for a bit and then formula.
I can totally relate to how you feel about this transition of going from 1-2 kids…it was so hard to adjust…but as soon as baby #2 starts sleeping through the night (that was at 2-3 months for us) and mom gets some sleep, things really start to come into perspective. As far as the above comment…going from 2-3 was so much easier than 1-2! At that point you are starting to become an expert mom and nothing surprises you!
Thank you for your honesty on your blog and sharing your feelings! I love reading it.
You are an amazing mom!! Your babies (and hubby) are so blessed to have you. Like always, I love your transparency and willingness to share. And all of this great advice is priceless! I’m praying for you…don’t hesitate to call for relief…or just another adult to chat with
Hi Tricia,
Congrats on the healthy arrival of your beautiful daughter, and I just want to thank you for all the work you put into this site…even though I’ve been OAMcooking for a few years, I love all your fresh ideas and awesome menu plans. It’s a one stop for all things ‘food’ in our house!
As for wisdom for this time with your precious family and young babies (mine are 20 mths & 23 mths apart, I have 3 under 6) I will say 2 words -
Moby Wrap!
That is how I still survive this stage!
Do you own a sling? not a front carrier (they killed my back & shoulders), but an actual wrap of some sort? Mobys are my fave style because of the versatility and I’ve even worn my toddlers hiking for miles in them.
And if you’re feeling ultra adventurous, you can even use it to wear your baby & workout
.
Well, I hope that helps you a little…we too struggled with reflux with my 3rd, and the week I reached my ‘breaking point’ of no sleep/exhaustion & watching my baby be in pain, it all went away..no medication or intervention needed…I will pray for the same relief for you & your beautiful baby girl!! Blessings!!
I have an ERGObaby carrier on it’s way but I will look into the Moby as well. I want to try a few styles out to see what works best (and because I tend to get headaches from too much weight on my shoulders. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I recently got The Ultimate Baby Wrap, which looks a lot like the Moby Wrap but it was on sale at Babies R Us. I can’t wait to give it a try. If you want a light work out you might try http://chicks-n-chickens.com/.
Hi Tricia! I’m Ginger. I wanted to let you know that your Once a Month Meals save me from going crazy over the holidays. I had 10 people at my house for two weeks. Having a plan and something in the freezer was vital.
We all have to do the best we can, where we are at. Honestly, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t done breastfeeding without complications. In my experience, if you choose to continue breastfeeding, you may consider the help of a lactation consultant. They absolutely know all the tricks, and can help with things like reflux for example. A really good lactation consultant will understand the need for supplimenting, but can also help you come up with a plan for getting back to breastfeeding if that is what you choose. My first was a formula baby, my other two children were breastfeed, but only with the help of a consultant. If you choose to go with formula, girl, I’m not going to judge. It’s also important for you to be a good mom. Take Care and God bless!
About the breastfeeding thing, I know there are a lot of opinions out there, myself included, but you really don’t need to explain yourself.
Have you tried to nurse lying down? Maybe only do it during night feedings if you’re worried about the reflux?
I have done this several times with this baby. It definitely works but I also have the tendency to fall asleep. I do it when desperate though.
Nursing while lying down was my favorite nursing position for nighttime feedings. My daughter would nurse for half an hour on a side and fall asleep. DH would get mad at me because I also fell asleep, but those let-down hormones are quite strong. It’s normal to fall asleep while nursing. Don’t beat yourself up about falling asleep. I don’t see anything wrong with mom fitting in a few minutes of sleep while baby is nursing.
Have some entertainment for the elder child. Mine was rather accepting to tandem nurse in an awkward position. HOwever, she worked into a more comfortable position after 2 sessions. How about reading while you nurse? or even singing?
(I figured it’s better than a broke down mom, tantrum-throwing sis, crying baby all together)
Also, when you have the time whenever the toddler is not fussy, put baby to the breast. I did this so that I will never be in a situation where I have a fussy toddler and a hungry baby at the same time!
We at a few occasions even have to resort to putting on a Barney video
Wow. Barney? You must have been desperate! (JK)
I love that you share the depth of this process with us. You are NOT alone!
My first baby was strictly breastfed. I didn’t supplement with formula until 10 months. It was a long 10 months for me with supply issues, non-stop pumping, no sleep and she also had reflux. I did the elimination diet to help with her reflux. Anything acidic in my diet: tomatoes, most other vegetables, tea/coffee, and CHOCOLATE totally messed her up. We were happiest on an oatmeal, apples, chicken and rice diet. It was tough and I wish I had given myself permission to supplement earlier. I felt so guilty for doing it and then when I finally did it, she took so much formula! Way more milk than I was providing for her. Then that made me feel guilty for waiting so long. Baby #2 is due in April and permission to do what it takes to maintain my sanity without guilt is my number one goal.
Oh, and the paci thing. Forget about it! Whatever will sooth her is best right now. Great job mama! You know what is best for you and your baby. Trust your instincts!
Best of luck with number two. Definitely don’t feel guilty. Just read through the post comments to see all of the others that have shared your guilt.
You’re lucky that your first child accepted formula at 10 months. By 9 months or so my daughter’s intake greatly exceeded my output. I had a frozen stash that was making up the difference. When it was gone at around 10 months, I tried to supplement (with much guilt just like everyone else) with formula. She refused it. She wouldn’t take it straight up. I tried blending it with my breastmilk. She wouldn’t touch it. She certainly thought that breastmilk was yummier than icky formula.
The lesson I took away from the experience was that a breastfeeding mother should introduce formula early so that baby will accept it if she knows that she will be supplementing sometime in the future.
Amy-I know your struggle. The introduction of formula wasn’t easy for us either. It took a blend of breastmilk and formula over a long period of time, slowly increasing the ratio of formula, before she would accept straight formula. They certainly prefer the good stuff! This time I’ll definitely supplement earlier…and without guilt!
Well, I’m a mom to 6. My first 3 were all 14 months apart and life then was such a blur… I just remember being so tired. I stopped being so hard on myself and learned to do the same thing.. I breastfed when I could, always pumped to supplement and even still had to supplement a little formula. Don’t let anyone tell you you aren’t doing the best job ever… You are doing awesome. Having a happy YOU is the most important, then happy kids and husband is last!!! Do whatever it takes to keep your baby happy and healthy!!! Good luck to you with your 2 little ones….
My boys are 14 months apart and now that the oldest is 2.5 and the youngest is 16 months, life is fun now with them. I will tell you though. With my first I was against anything but breastfeeding. When my son didn’t have a dirty diaper for several days we knew we had to do something. I also tried the herbs, the pumping, the drinking water every chance I had, but I just couldn’t produce enough so instead of giving our kids formula we actually gave them goat’s milk which was recommended to us by the LC because it is closer to breastmilk then formula. The goat’s milk was a life saver. The kids have been healthy and even to this day I still have them drinking it and whenever I see a runny nose I push the goat milk because whatever it all has in it boosts their immune systems. Just know that if you are unable to breastfeed that you are not a failure. I just needed someone to tell me that a few times and my life became a little simpler. It may be hard now but once the kids start interacting with each other, it is the most precious thing to watch(fighting over toys and all) Take care of your little ones!
Bless you for sharing your struggles.
I have 3 children, ages 4, 6, and 8 now. Our middle daughter is adopted from China. We had our youngest almost exactly one year after stepping off the plane with our second. Each transition had its own set of struggles and joys. It all seems like a blur now.
With both babies I started out breastfeeding, working through various issues, pumping, almost no sleep, etc. and dealing with all the guilt that came from considering formula. My wise mother, who had me late in life and is from an older generation, told me from the beginning, “Honey, if you can nurse, then do it, but if not, then give that baby a bottle, and he’ll be just fine.” After weeks of giving it my best shot, we swapped to formula for both babies. They, along with their adopted sister who was never breastfed, are happy, healthy children. And it’s a joy to see them interact together – laughing, bickering, and all!
So do what’s best for you and your family, let go of the guilt and enjoy those exhausting, precious newborn days. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask friends for help!
Praying for you,
Shannon
Your story is soooo similar to mine – with 3 of my 4 babies. It’s so awful to go for that first checkup and see that despite your hard work and pain that the baby is not gaining. Some of the most stressful times of my life. Like you, each time, I learned better how to handle it, and started pumping earlier. And I am happy to say that each time after 4-6 weeks, my supply finally increased and I was able to wean them off of the formula without any trouble – even when all three were terrible latchers initially – and exclusively breastfeed. One daugher didn’t latch properly AT ALL until she was 3 weeks old. Anyway, my point is just to offer encouragement, and to let people know that judicious use of formuala is literally a lifesaver, and can even SUPPORT breastfeeding. I am very pro-breastfeeding, but at the same time, I get aggravated by fanatics who refuse to consider that formula use can be helpful.
Hi- love your blog! I have 3 children. My son Christian is turning 3 in 2 weeks. My daughter Lily is turning 2 in October, and my son Logan was born January 15. All of my kids are 14 months apart- so trust me, I know the challenges of having children so close together! With my first 2 kids I was only able to breastfeed for about 6 weeks because I returned to work so quickly and I was also having major latch issues and soreness. With my baby Logan, I made a little vow to myself that I would commit to breastfeeding him for 6 months. Well, 6 months came and went and I’m still going strong! This is one of the biggest accomplishments for me! It was extremely difficult at first- I had such sore and cracked nippled that it was excruciating to feed him, but now feedings are the most enjoyable time of the day for me. I have been able to bond with him in such a way that I didn’t get to experience with my other 2. Good luck to you!!